Same-sex hookups are much less taboo than they've ever before been. Us asked females who determine as straight, gay, bi, and queer about their first experiences with one more woman. 

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20 females Share their First-Time Lesbian Experiences

As much as first-time lesbian experience go, trying out with who of the same sex is (thankfully) less taboo than it's ever been, thanks in huge part come the occupational of LGBTQIA activists and also creators championing narratives native all parts of the sexuality spectrum. Spoiler alert: Hooking up v a member of the exact same sex is a lot an ext common than you might think—even amongst people that don’t have to self-identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community: A 2016 National health and wellness Statistics report found that over 17% that women in between the ages of 18 and also 44 had experienced sexual call with various other women, even though just 6.8% determined as lesbian or bisexual. More recently, in a 2018 study of college students, 12% that men and also 25% of ladies whose critical hookup partner was the the same sex thought about themselves straight.

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Not to cite that many of directly women that haven’t had sex through women acquire turned on by the idea the girl-on-girl sex. Lesbian erotic is the most popular porn category among women, and also plenty of females are likewise reading lesbian stories on erotica sites.


That’s all to say that same-same hookups and same-sex attraction can mean (or no mean) a many of various things to various people. Whether you’re searching women’s file on date apps or simply fantasizing about a lesbian sex experience, being curious about expanding your sex-related horizons is nothing to it is in ashamed about.


We asked women of all different sexual orientations come recount their an initial lesbian experience and same-sex encounters. Right here are their stories:

We nervously explored each other’s bodies.

“Though I had flirted v women v college and also my 20s, I remained in a irreversible monogamous relationship and never plot on my attention or desire to be v women. In our at an early stage 30s mine husband and I determined to open our marital relationship to some sex-related exploration and went top top a date with a couple. We instantly hit that off. If the woman and I kissed the night, we didn't take it it any kind of further—I think that us were both also nervous. She additionally hadn't ever before been with an additional woman. We decided that we didn't desire the an initial time because that both of united state to be v our husbands; we want to concentrate on every other, so us told them us were walking to acquire together and that castle weren't invited. I sent out my children to school, and also when she baby dropped asleep because that his everyday nap, she called me. I come over, and also we shyly and also nervously explored each other's bodies. The was the first of many times that us did that, and it started an over-a-year-long romance in between the two of us.” —Jessie, 42

It felt favor some type of rite that passage.

“I had come out as bi about a year prior to but tho hadn’t kissed a girl. Ns got cast in a play whereby I’d need to kiss a girl onstage, and also I to be unhappy with the believed that this would be my an initial kiss through a girl, so a friend of mine available to kiss me first. It was just a quick smooch in a hallway the a dorm building, however it felt like some sort of rite the passage as a queer woman. The an initial time ns really hooked up v a girl, ns was hooking up through a trans woman that I had actually hooked increase with prior to she come out. It was sort of like I was proactively reframing points through a queer lens while us were hooking up. That wound up going quite well due to the fact that we’re with each other now. That a strange experience being a queer woman who’s never ever slept with another cis woman due to the fact that a the majority of times, sex in between two females is framed solely approximately the visibility of 2 vaginas. It sometimes makes me feel prefer I’m lacking out top top some big part of gift a queer woman, yet ultimately, I’m really happy with my girlfriend and also we’re just as gay as anyone else, for this reason I shot not to worry around it.” —Julia, 21

People assumed I was much more experienced 보다 I was.

“I invested my 20s in a permanent monogamous relationship with a man, and I hadn’t dated much before that, so as soon as we decided to open up up our relationship, i was excited to discover my interest in other genders. I’d currently been to teach sex education for a couple of years and also had begun cohosting sex parties with a colleague, so my run-of-the-mill nerves around having sex v a mrs for the very first time were multiplied by world often reasoning I was an ext experienced 보다 I in reality was. It took me a when to feeling comfortable relocating past make out with women, however one night, after an event I hosted, a woman I’d to be seeing chose to continue to be over and also we had actually sex. Ns was tho super nervous and also struggled to gain out of mine head a bit, yet having an excellent communication helped, and also it was a really an excellent experience.” — Rachael, 32

I was in the restroom in ninth grade.

“I remained in the toilet in ninth grade v my ideal friend and also our common close friend. As soon as my finest friend went into the stall, the other girl propelled me against the wall surface and kissed me. I gained butterflies so difficult my stomach hurt. Ns knew that every kiss with any type of boy before that to be nothing compared to what i felt in the moment.” —Danielle, 35

I stumbled v asking she to cave out.

“The spring of my senior year the college, ns met my first girlfriend after comes out together queer to my close girlfriend the summer before. Us met at a conference for an on-campus mental wellness organization and also ran right into each other at a coffee shop a couple of days later. At the encouragement of her roommate and our mutual friend, i stumbled v asking her to cave out. She involved my dorm room for a movie night, and also we to be watching a documentary prior to she turned to me to ask if she might kiss me. The was the very first time everyone had ever before asked me if they can kiss me—something I discovered oddly endearing. Us laughed and giggled with our first of many awkward hookups prior to finally obtaining the cave of it, and also a few weeks later, ns asked she to be my girlfriend.” —Anisha, 25

I threw fist to the wind and also said i was game.

“I thrived up playing softball, and also even though I periodically felt attractive to women, i figured that i couldn't maybe be queer since, in ~ the context i existed, being a lesbian (no one ns knew was bisexual) supposed that you to be butch, i beg your pardon I'm not. I chalked increase drunk make-outs with gal pals to ‘drunken college fun’ and never really provided it lot of a 2nd thought. In my early 30s, ns was solitary and on dating apps because that the very first time. Ns matched through a man who later said that he and his friend v benefits were trying to find a third, so i threw caution to the wind and also said i was game. As the job approached, I ended up being increasingly stressed around being awful at performing dental sex on a woman—I knew what i liked and also what feeling good, yet I wasn't sure just how to interpret that knowledge to who else. So…I googled it. I finished up having a fun an initial experience, which opened up the door to a whole new side of mine sexuality. As much as i love giving a guy head, ns don't know just how I lived prior to going down on a woman. Recommend.” —Erin, 36

She had no idea it was my an initial time with a woman.

“I to be at a fetish pat party as a solitary bi woman. Another woman put on a corset called me mine hair to be lovely and asked if she could play v it, which developed into a massage and also her asking me if I favored women. I stated yes. I began with clit-rubbing and fingering her G-spot. She really appreciated it, and until ns told her afterward, she had no idea the it to be my very first time ever with a woman!” —Cy, 26

Friends had told me i was “just curious.”

“I had always known ns was bisexual, however my ‘gayer’ friends had repeatedly said me i was ‘just curious’ and ‘being ridiculous.’ the made me feeling terrible, and I think it really decreased my to trust in that area of mine life. So through high school and also college, I just dated men. I was at a party in mine mid-20s wherein the host’s roommate was in a women’s rugby league, and also the totality team came. I had never felt so queer. The men’s team was there too, apparently, and I didn’t even notice. I had a couple of drinks for some courage and also was chatting v the cutest lesbian in the world. Climate the strength went out an extremely suddenly. I asked if I might kiss her then, in the dark, and we invested the remainder of the party making out in what ns really hoped was a dark corner, but which turned out to be wherein the extra beer was. Not an extremely subtle. Us went ~ above a date, and she was totally awesome, yet I didn’t have actually the confidence earlier then come navigate a partnership with a mrs for the an initial time. Ns told her the moment wasn’t ideal for me. I didn’t have ‘actual sex’ v a woman for a while ~ that, but I certainly have now, and I deserve to tell you with confidence that I’m absolutely bisexual.” —Rachel, 31

I told her I assumed we would finish up do out.

“I was studying abroad in southern Africa once my roommate revealed the she was a lesbian. Having actually been struggling v my own sexuality, ns boldly told her the I believed we would end up making out. One night us were hanging together on she bed listening come ‘Something Beautiful’ through Needtobreathe once I kissed her. It soon clicked at that moment why things had never cleared up with guys. This make-out conference led to 4 months that sneaking turn off to have actually sex in corners of our apartment whereby our various other roommates wouldn't see and hooking increase in windy restrooms. Nothing ever before came of us besides a friendship, yet I've never ever turned back.’ —Tayla, 23

I take it a chance and kissed her.

“I'd never really believed of myself as anything other than right until a friend of mine stated she favored me and it to be too bad I didn't favor girls. I laughed it off, however something in my head went, ‘It is too poor I'm straight!’ later on that evening ns took a chance and also kissed her while us were watching a movie. Then one thing caused another, which brought about our date for a year and a half. Ns had constantly assumed I had actually to be straight because I prefer men. Now I happily determine as bisexual, and also a the majority of feelings and a few dreams native high institution make a lot much more sense.” —Cathy, 35

I wasn’t sure around my very own identity.

“This girl and also I had actually been hanging out for a while. I knew she to be gay, and I wasn't sure about my own identity. We were having actually a sleepover one day—as we did most weekends—and she kissed me. We made out, and also then us started having actually sex on a regular basis together friends through benefits. Since her, I've only been with women.” —Lauren, 23

It was my an initial time having actually a threesome.

“It to be my an initial time with a woman and my very first time participating in a threesome—so i was double nervous. My ex-boyfriend i ordered it it, and also I reliable him and his taste in women. The woman was an extremely sweet, curvy, and also had amazing lips. Us sat around watching stunner porn for a while, nobody making any moves, and then at some point she just struck me. She straddled me, and I was shocked at how soft she was everywhere. The threesome didn't really end up being very threesome-ish, as we kind of simply took turns in the end—but it to be pretty amazing to experience a woman's body because that the an initial time. No of us had the guts come go south of every other's waists, though. We stuck come kissing and also breast play. Due to the fact that I take into consideration myself pretty much straight yet fascinated through the female body, i was happy with that. I had actually a second threesome a couple of years later, with different people, and I went under on the woman. The didn't really execute anything because that me.” —Portia, 36

I want to sleep with various other women.

“I had a to like on this girl, and also she knew it. We were very good friends, and her friend was my close friend. One night us all type of make out, and also I thought, girls are an excellent kissers. I've figured out as bi since I to be 16, so the reinforced that. I want to sleep with other women, however it just didn't happen.” —Jen, 39

I don’t must question my sexuality anymore.

“I to be trying to setup a threesome with this guy I to be seeing. He finished up corresponding with this girl top top Tinder who agreed come a threesome after they gained to understand each other a tiny better. Us friended each other on society media and found the end that we had actually a ton of interests in common. ~ a few weeks, she made decision she wasn't right into this male anymore, however she still want to hang out through me. I was therefore nervous since I had actually never been through a woman before. Ns planned ~ above this male being my buffer. I'm bisexual, but I didn't come out until my at an early stage 20s. I voiced this come her, reasoning it would be a turnoff that she would certainly be my very first sexual encounter through a woman. She was much more than understanding. A couple of weeks later on I to be at a bar through some friends and called her to check out if she would want to watch me that night. I took a Lyft to her apartment around an hour later. We sat on her couch drinking wine, i pretended to choose her cat, we flirted because that a while, ns was nervous. Us took it come the bedroom, and I had one of the most awkward, thrilling, skin-tingling sex-related experiences of mine life. It's still hard for me to day women, as I feel favor I'm so new and clueless. But now I understand I don't should question my sexuality anymore.” —Sarah, 25

I had considered myself largely straight.

“I had gone ~ above a couple of dates v an exciting late-30s couple and talked about one day because that a plan threesome. We drank pretty cider and they provided me greens from their co-op before we also moved come the bedroom. I’d had only one like on a girl and considered myself largely straight before then, but a few hours later, I totally came to terms through being attractive to men and women ~ an remarkable night focusing on the dude’s female partner.” —Shannon, 24

Every mrs to me is one untouchable goddess.

“I had come out as bisexual my an elderly year of college and was (still am, actually) clueless on exactly how to pursue relationships with women. The fall after graduation, a woman and also I matched on Tinder. Us really clicked over the chat, for this reason she chose to come v some friends to the coffee shop wherein I worked and also meet challenge to face. I was terrified but additionally really attracted to her. She was prefer a tiny Jodie Foster. We made plans, but they fell through. She had never checked out Spirited Away, so I invite her come come over and also watch it through me. We were spooning, and with my position as the large spoon, i was as well terrified to do a move. Then us switched positions, and also I love come say that’s as soon as she spirited me away. (It’s it s okay to roll your eyes at all the corn.) I had actually never feeling that method before. She was so soft and gentle. It felt right, and I felt prefer a teenager again. I dropped hard, yet although she chosen me, she wasn’t emotion as intensely as ns was. It makes sense, though—I was going through a sex-related awakening the she had actually experienced years before. We ended up having actually a dramatic breakup of sorts, whereby I stormed out of a coffee shop v her calling ~ me to come back. Years later on I still struggle with dating women. I think my issue is I put them all on pedestals: Every woman to me is an untouchable goddess. In reality, castle human just like me. I require to obtain over the hurdle sooner or later due to the fact that I’m so end navigating the toxicity of men.” —Maddie, 26

I must have actually gone under on her at the very least three times.

“I to be on a cross-country roadway trip, uncovered myself in Texas, and was frustrated by how many men admitted come never having been tested for STIs before. Unwilling to negotiate my hard boundary (I don't hook up v anyone that hasn't to be tested within the last six months) yet still wanting to scrape a sexual itch, I decided to shot having sex v women. Ns made a an extremely honest Tinder file stating that ns was inexperienced yet a really enthusiastic and reliable hookup. It didn't take lengthy until ns matched with a an extremely beautiful lesbian who had actually a thing for 'newbies.' i was so excited to shot something new but tho a little nervous, therefore we got stoned and I asked her if it would certainly be okay if I simply explored she body. I ended up providing her a full-body massage with oil to check out what she liked, and also I've must've gone under on her at the very least three times. I completely get why men love providing head now. It's addictive!” —Dana, 31

It felt completely natural and also right.

“I'd always had a sneaking skepticism that I can be queer. As soon as I was 21, ns went to view the movie Chocolat in a park with among my fellow teammates from mine swim team. I knew she to be gay; I definitely had a to like on her. We both have kind 1 diabetes, and also that do me feel an immediate bond through her—we could check our blood street together! we made out in the center of the movie, appropriate there in a substantial public park. It felt entirely natural and also right. I drove her home and nothing happened from there. Quiet she and also I space still friends, and I officially came out as queer at 27.” —Bonnie, 29

I was exploring some platonic kink.

“My first hookup v a woman was v my housemate throughout college (cue college shot jokes). Ns was trying out some platonic kink through some housemates—asking them come spank me through a sex toy I recently acquired—she called me she might spank me...platonically. After gaining drunk together one night in ~ a party our residence was hosting, i asked her if she want to spank me...not platonically? She to be surprised but said yes, and also kinky sex ensued! All the time our phones to be buzzing v our friends asking where we had disappeared to! The next day I sent her a message saying what a great time I'd had, and also she replied that she to be getting back together v her ex-boyfriend. I’m hella queer now, though, so not all is shed from that experience!” —Eva, 23

I assumed you simply “knew” if you to be gay.

“I had always been with men in the past but never in much of a relationship—I can’t say i was ever before really into it or enjoyed it. In fact, in ~ times, that distressed me. However, that never arisen to me that ns might an elaborate women due to the fact that I suspect you simply ‘knew’ if you to be gay. However, about five years ago, i went ~ above lesbian dating apps and also had a couple of dates. I uncovered them attractive but didn’t feel any type of kind of spark. Something, though, made me store dating. Then I got a ‘like’ from one mrs whose photo really piqued mine interest. We started talking online and also messaged each various other constantly for 2 days before meeting, even though we live over 100 mile apart. Over there was instant chemistry. We’ve now been together for nine months, and also I feel choose I’ve finally found who i am and who i am intended to be with. I am certainly gay. I guess it’s simply not together straightforward for anyone figuring out their sexuality.” —Eleanor, 39

We both orgasmed several times.

“My very first time through a woman, i was two decades old and she was 31 year old. Us met with a mutual friend. Our very first time was very nerve-wracking because that me, but due to the fact that she’d had actually plenty of previous experiences, she led the way. I'm usually quite submissive, regardless of mine partner's gender, so it functioned out an excellent for me! us both orgasmed number of times. She topped and I bottomed. We visited her apartment since her shower to be huge, and also that's wherein we started our small ‘session.’ We experienced each other again a several much more times after, twice with second partner (a cis-gendered man). 10/10 ladies make amazing sexual partners, IMO.” —Sam, 22

She felt prefer someone I’d known forever.

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“We met in ~ this communal arts project, and also there was this instant connection. We later on matched ~ above Tinder. I had just type of come out to friends and family that ns was bi, so she had me over and also cooked because that me, and also the connection and fireworks were so, so strong. It wasn’t long before we started making out, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This led to the bedroom. The experience felt natural—she felt choose someone I’d recognized forever. She was the most beautiful, kind soul I’ve ever met. She to be a lesbian due to the fact that she can remember, and I was simply coming out. Ns wasn’t sure if i was ready to even be in a relationship. It was negative timing. I wish i had much more courage or just more experience. In ~ that point I felt super intimidated, but not through her, simply with all the thoughts and things. I never ever really speak to her around it. She is a ball of sunshine who is an impressive cook. She most certainly stole mine heart. The endure was so natural it still boggles mine mind. That something ns think about often.” —Andrea, 31

I had actually this wrecking realization that I had to be queer.

“My an initial memory of discovering that for sure I to be queer: A (male) girlfriend took some of our friends to a date of birth party for a lady he had actually a to like on. She to be a skilled ballerina. She and also I ended up yes, really hitting the off, and then she followed me into the stall once I saw the restroom. What taken place was absolutely not PG-13. It was the first time I’d had full-on dental sex with a female. It occurred so naturally and also I was so an excellent at it! I had actually this kind of shattering realization that I had actually to it is in queer. At that time gay marital relationship was not legal, and also it was not as embraced as the is today, for this reason it to be a very facility and daunting moment for me.” —Carrie, 39