I am in a really bad place. I have been do the efforts my ideal to better myself, however it appears to just be doing so much. I got a therapist, and also she thinks I have actually body dysmorphic disorder. We have actually been doing things to settle it, however it doesn’t seem to be going away. Ns don’t recognize what come do. Being hyperfocused on mine appearance is emotionally exhausting and an extremely painful, but I can’t stop.
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I am additionally losing my friends. Ns am not as social together I offered to be. Ns have constantly been shy, yet recently i have come to be a really closed off person. I don’t feel comfortable being myself roughly my girlfriend or roughly anyone (except my dear boyfriend that I perform not recognize where I would be there is no him in my life). Ns am continuous battling this awful mental condition I am in. But when I ultimately go out and see my friends, I have actually nothing to offer or say. I have lost the old personality I supplied to have. I used to be really positive, funny, outgoing, etc. My friends and also I were very close, yet now we aren’t because I need to hide that I yes, really am now. I also have come hide mine true self from my cousin (who provided to be the human being I told everything to) because her attitude is really toxic and exacerbates my mental issues.
I just feel an extremely alone. I view people around me laughing and having fun v their friends, however I to be not prefer that anymore. I even feel that ns annoy mine boyfriend. Ns am constantly crying about my life or talking about how lot pain ns am going through and also the points that have actually hurt me. I feel like he doesn’t desire to be roughly it anymore, but I can’t stop. It’s exactly how I’m feeling in the moment and also pretending to it is in happy is exhausting. I just don’t know what come do. I cry every day. I never ever feel it s okay anymore. How deserve to I gain over this?
I just counted the variety of threads you started here, due to the fact that the very first on December 11, 2017, a little over 2 years ago: fifty seven threads.
Here are several of the title of your threads that were around your boyfriend, in stimulate of days submitted: Help!!! My friend liked another girl while dating me??/ How deserve to I get him to adjust more?/ my boyfriend’s mommy talked badly on me?/ friend left, life still sucks, i am tho stupid, carry out I leaving him?/ Boyfriend damaged up through me after speak he will certainly change/ I hate my boyfriend’s sister/ My boyfriend (ex) is trying to ruin my life/ i finally damaged up with my boyfriend and also am unsure of exactly how I feel.
Here are some of the titles of her threads the are around your brother: My little brother lost every one of his friends/ My brother is hated by my entire town/ I’m scared because that my 15 year old brother/ ns am concerned for mine brother’s life.
Some of the threads about your cousin: my cousin is the most insecure girl that i know/ mine cousin is so median to me/ my cousin speak me I require a nose project all the time/ Every time I talk to my cousin I end up depressed/ My toxic cousin.
Some of your threads about friends: My best friend hooked up through my other ideal friend’s boyfriend/How deserve to I have actually friends again?/ How can I change the relationship, should I reunite through my old friend/ I need some help making friends/ trying to uncover my friends, niche/Losing my great guy friend/ I got to out come an old friend that ignored me/How do I make friends?
Some of her threads about your physical looks (and smell): ns am worn down of trying to be pretty however that’s every I desire in life/ I simply want to be beautiful/ ns photoshopped a snapshot of my human body on Instagram/ i am worn down of ladies being judged by your looks/ A kid told me ns look like a witch, does this mean I’m ugly? do I smell bad?
Some of your threads around how girlfriend feel: really confused about myself/ i feel favor I must depend top top somebody/ Is there something wrong v me? beginning to realize sources of my society anxiety/ I’m therefore heart broken I want to die, ns feel ugly/ Why don’t my teachers notification me/ ns need aid managing my diet and exercise in college/ I miss out on my life 4 years ago/ Hurt and confused/ ns am therefore lonely/ I’m jealous, insecure, and truly sad/ to be these girl trying to ne typical to me? Why don’t males go after me? mine teacher said I’m lazy/ i don’t know exactly how much more I can take.
In your most recent thread, the one i am replying come now, you pointed out being “in a really negative place”, see a therapist who thinks you experience from body dysmorphic disorder, you being certainly hyper concentrated on your appearance, losing your friends, being closed off, hiding that you really space from friends and also from your cousin whose “mindset is very toxic and also exacerbates my psychological issues”, emotion “very alone”, “always crying about my life.. Around how lot pain i am going through.. I cry every day”, that you “can’t stop” hyper concentrating on her appearance and also you “can’t stop” complain to her boyfriend, the “pretending to it is in happy is exhausting”, and you asked: “How can I get over this?”
One of her 57 threads, august 1, 2018, a year and five month ago, is titled: “I realized something that really adjusted everything for me”. In it friend wrote: “My dad .. Is always working.. My mommy is house all the time yet she transaction with.. Depression and also anxiety.. Neither of mine parents have been about to overview me or mine siblings. I constantly knew this however didn’t think it was a large deal… I’ve always let my friend walk over me and also never had the strength to rest up v him.. I’ve been told I have actually no personality.. I just go with the flow when with many people. Ns am always unsure of myself and also never take it charge.. I feel for this reason fearful and also stressed every the time.. I am still an extreme introvert and also am very aloof in most social situations”.
My input come you, Kate, this january 3, 2020 morning:
1. Reads come me that you should end all call with your cousin, you consistently defined her as toxicity to you, you finishing up depression every time you speak to her, and also you mentioned right here on your many recent subject as toxicity still. That is because of this a no brainer come me the you should end all contact with her.
2. Together I said to girlfriend before, execute all the you deserve to to straight your younger brother toward skilled help concerning his issues, consisting of his medicine abuse. If you haven’t excellent so already, walk to his school’s counselor and talk come him or her around your concerns for her brother health and safety.
3. Continue to watch a therapist and also share with her what you common on your threads, specifically the respectable 1 thread.
4. Regarding my authorized in her future threads: to be potentially valuable to you, the is not efficient that ns .. Kind of multi job as ns respond to your many, plenty of threads, most often receiving either no reply, or a one line answer from you. Therefore, any and also all future communication in between me and you will happen on this thread and on no other.
You room welcome come respond to this post, or not, and you are welcome to begin as many brand-new threads as you would favor in the future. Ns hope that other members will certainly respond to your future threads.
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Regarding a possible communication in between you and also me, that is to be excellent here. If you choose this option, please let me know what friend think about the content of this write-up to you.