If the doesn"t sound, like, too out there, and also if you can get over your are afraid of hurting me, carry out you think it"d it is in weird if i asked you to slap me?


Jesus Christ!

(chuckling): What? friend asked me to.

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(both grunting)

What in God"s name...?

"Flight itinerary: Heathrow come L.A.X."

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This cannot be happening.

Why would my family be flying here?

They can"t do that.

So phone call "em come suck your dick.

Well, i can"t tell them to suck mine dick, Gretchen, due to the fact that they"re currently in the air!

They come in the morning.

For four days?!

Why the hell room they...?

Gretchen, the, uh, the-the... The letters that I offered you, you-you didn"t...?

Yeah, i mailed them choose you asked.


Why would you perform that?!

They were just threats, for this reason if i didn"t hit the page count, you were to mail the letters!

I don"t obtain it.

Oh, mine God, and also the love letter come Becca.

And there was a 3rd one.

What to be it?

Oh, yeah, it was bad. I remember that.

I"m currently regretting no slapping friend harder.

I cannot have these lunatics in my house.

Gretch, you gained to help me. Promise you"ll assist me, please.


Jesus, I believed you stated you were better.

I lied.

Well, fake the and assist me!

I don"t wanna.

Do you think i "wanna"?

Nobody "wanna"!

But I require your help! Come on!

See? We have the right to do this, we can do this.

No, you understand what?

I shan"t be cowed by a visiting team of soccer hooligans, feebs and also psychotics through congenital lead aggression.

Except because that my younger sister; she"s every right.

Yes, one look at at exactly how inconceivably much I"ve come, and also they will certainly see just how together I have it all.

This come for you.

"Dear Jimmy.

"It"s donations like yours that ensure every young young gets the hugs the needs."

Oh, yeah, i knew it to be bad.


Yo, can I gain this lollipop?

♪ I"m gonna leave you anyway ♪♪ I"m gonna leaving you quiet ♪♪ Gonna leave you anyway. ♪

(pounding top top door)

No, no, girlfriend promised.

Oh, come on!



Welcome to America.

Shut up.

I"ve forget what soft hand you have.

It"s choose shaking hands with the royal baby.

Royal girl baby!



Woman: Jimmy!

Lilly, oh, mine God, look in ~ you!

Uh, you must be in university by now.

Oh, ns was going to go, however they stated that college is just a location w*nk*rs walk to research poetry and also fist themselves.

Ah, well, that"s...

So, Fiona, what have actually you to be up to?

Work in ~ the Tesco.

You know, the an excellent one top top the north side.

Promoted directly away.

Cashier... Cost-free apron and everything.

Uh, where"s Mum?

In Barcelona with Tony.

Who"s Tony?


I don"t understand why she married the bloody tosser.

Wait, what, married?

I don"t understand.

Me neither.

He smokes those slim cigarettes and also doesn"t wear socks, if you recognize what ns mean.

Wait, you obtained divorced?

Why go nobody tell me?!

Why, look in ~ Jimmy"s fancy tiny salt dish.

"Oh, I have the right to only have a tiny bit that salt, otherwise me mouth gets also dry for gobbling knobs."


Uh, just, ah!

Just gonna relocate my publication there.

It"s-it"s no a coaster.

Although "CoolBookGirl14" ~ above GoodReads called it "an emotional roller coaster."

Hello, Shive-Overlys.

I"m Edgar, and, uh, welcome come our home.

Who"s the Paki?

(gasps) Wow.

Di, the is rather offensive.

First that all, he"s my roommate.


And secondly, he"s no Pakistani, he"s Mexican.

Ah, Mexicans... America"s Pakis.

I"ll be best back.


Jimmy: Gretchen?

TV announcer: Ladies and also gentlemen...

Guys, this is mine girlfriend, Gretchen.

Jimmy, where"s her gun?

Why would certainly I have actually a gun?

Just prefer Shitty Jimmy to move to America and also not very own a gun.

Wait, what did you just call him?

What"s it to you?!

No, i was genuinely asking.

Shitty Jimmy. You don"t know the story the Shitty Jimmy?


It"s a good story.

So what occurred was, right?

One day, the slipped in sh1t.

So from then on, we dubbed him Shitty Jimmy.


We also called him penis Bandit, Crybaby Fartface and small Jizz Man.

Ah, goddamn it.

Well, mine job right here is done.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Lilly! Tea!


I thought this particular day we could go see the giant boulder at LACMA, then there"s a screening that Vertigo at the cemetery...

Well, obviously we can"t do any kind of of that.

The Eurotune track Contest is on every week.

Jimmy: Wait, so girlfriend flew all the method to Los Angeles just to sit in former of the telly?

Was it tough to write a book, Jimmy?

I"m for this reason proud that you.

I constantly tell the other girls at an elaborate Dames around my famed brother in America.

Fancy Dames, the piece club?

Last time I observed you, friend were analysis Harry Potter.

Well, ns did gain a tattoo of Dobby the residence Elf ~ above my...

It"s okay.



Then we had to relocate the half-price section.

And that was a big to-do, of course.

Davey claimed the half-price was too close to the posh cheeses, and it didn"t make sense, customer-wise, of course.

Well, i told Davey, "You need to move the indicators then, "cause clearly Carrie can"t lug "em."

Why can"t Carrie bring them?

Because she"s obtained no arms; that"s why we call her Carrie.

Her real name"s Beth.

Did ns tell girlfriend what Regina said the other day?

I don"t understand who Regina is.

Or Davey or Carrie.

You provide literally no context to her stories.

Regina is Giancarlo"s girl.

Anyway, Regina stated that Davey said that in American grocery store stores, lock play a rain and thunder sound, and also then a machine spritzes the vegetables.

What a lie.

Can girlfriend imagine?

Di: will you 2 shut up?

The bleeding Belgians space cheating again.

(music plays, group cheers)

(door opens, closes)

Hey, everyone, this is Lindsay.

She"s, uh, Gretchen"s ideal friend.

Ronny: Come and also sit on mine lap, luv.

Oh, don"t mind this stains.

Just a little bit of p juice.

Right, I need you to discover Gretchen and get she up here.

And inspect the closets.

Now, go.

(clears throat)

Do total shows have actually bazookas?

Always want me own bazooka.

Jimmy: No idea.

Dad, what occurred with you and Mum?

I don"t know.

She simply wanted a bloke choose Tony v his floppy hair and tight pants.

Bit prefer you.

(chuckles) How"d you gain your hair therefore floppy?

You, uh, have actually a one-of-a-kind cream?

Does that come out of a tube?

A flesh-colored tube?


Hey, look that I found.

Who"s to win the thing?

Di: possibly I"d understand if girlfriend weren"t continuous yapping in my confront like a goddamn Belgian.

(cell phone call beeps)


Linds, have the right to you go assist Sam through a wardrobe crisis?

No problem.

I believed all English civilization were fancy, however these are like Alabama English people.

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(screams) Jesus.

I need to look extra dope!

Those assholes" recent track dissed mine wardrobe for this reason thoroughly, they have me doubting my signature style that GQ magazine once called "courageously headache-y."