The Manual is a dating publication for men. It has some good mindsets and dating advice combined with some less good content.

You are watching: The manual: what women want and how to give it to them

Bullet SummaryDon’t think that women are an ext valuable than you areBe security of her, yet put yourself firstShow strength and confidence: women don’t like fragile menFull Summary

The hands-on is divided in 2 parts: theoretical details and more practical information.

Contrary to many dating coaches, W. Anton says that understanding the theory is more important.Once friend internalize the correct mindsets, her actions will certainly follow naturally.

Men and Women are Equally Valuable

The author says that our society tells us that females are an ext valuable.And that’s why men chase women, buy lock gifts and also generally act them prefer hot and also rare commodity.

He claims it’s due to the fact that putting women an initial is an excellent for culture and societies that cherished females beat those who didn’t.So this particular day we only have actually societies that idealize women.The culture in our culture is to kiss as much as women, however that’s not effective in actually sleeping with women.

My Note: merely Not TrueThis is comprised evolutionary psychology.It’s no true that men and women are equally valuable, and it’s not simply socialization and culture, but also nature.Also read:

If you desire to be good with women, the author says, you need to ditch that mindset that females are an ext valuable and also put yourself very first instead.

My Note: adopt Correct MindsetsThere is nothing wrong knowledge that women are on average an ext valuable than typical men.As lengthy as you target at ending up being a high-value man, friend don’t should worry around the average.

There various Standards that Beauty because that Men and also Women

W. Anton states that men and also women room judged on an extremely different collection of standards.

It’s not that men are more visual, it’s that all that matters about a woman room her looks. Come reproduce effectively she demands to be a female, young and also have a good body.

For men, it’s different. For guys being young is of no significance.A male to it is in attractive need to be born a male and also be less delicate than females. And the latter is no a high quality you deserve to see in a picture.

My Note: Not fully trueThe overall suggest he renders is not fully wrong: women are an ext heavily judged merely on the basis of looks.But it’s not true that looks or age don’t matter in a man: they tho do. Also read:

And that’s why, the writer says, your elevation or looks matter small to women.It’s an ext about do them feel safe and secure and being strong.

Be Strong

W. Anton says that indigenous an evolutionary perspective protection is the number one priority during pregnancy.

And that’s why women space attracted to men who look stronger and also less breakable than they are.So, i m really sorry Brene Brown, however it looks like to obtain women, guys can’t really be delicate :).

My Note: there room exceptionsI perform agree in reality that men shouldn’t look as well weak.However, this is additionally a generalization. Part well placed insecurities and vulnerability have the right to make guys even much more attractive (read: seduction methods you wouldn’t think work).

Be Confident

The author defines trust as:

The ability to appear particular by tolerating uncertainty. To be dominant, optimistic, and courageous with women, and never plot intimidated through them.

I fully agree with the second part.I don’t buy right into W. Anton’s very first part of the sentence though. Indeed, that stresses and also repeats the confidence is around appearing to it is in certain.Even when you’re not.

Trying to display yourself certain even as soon as you’re not will make you look choose an you are fool when eventually you are found out because that a blow difficult who didn’t know sh*t.In those cases, you are far better off relying on the stamin of a philosopher’s frame. Also read:

Be Selfish

The hands-on makes the allude that to lure women you have to put you yourself first.It’s not around being domineering and controlling, and also you should actually be protective. Yet not come the point that you are inconveniencing yourself.

I kind of agree here.However, don’t do it a huge rule. If you space a cool guy, a an excellent act of chivalry could easily provide you point.

Also keep in mind the taking treatment of others is a significant leadership high quality (Leaders Eat Last). And also women love leaders.

Don’t define Yourself

I liked this insight on no explaining yourself.

The writer says that insecure human being volunteer explanations for your actions or motives. Telling civilization why they did what they walk or said what lock said.

Get rid the it due to the fact that it’s very insecure.Women will test you, and also sometimes try to press you on the defensive. Yet you need to remain steadfast.Also read:

Be Charming

The author says you shouldn’t walk overboard come make women laugh, game or, God forbid, play gamings (like The video game teaches).

And he renders a very good point.He claims that researches telling world that ladies like guys who make it laugh have it backward. It’s no that women like men who do them laugh, it’s that women simply laugh more with men that excite them.

I don’t think it’s that straightforward and also some an excellent banter, specifically initially, helps.But Anton had me nodding there: a really very an excellent point I had actually never assumed of.

Also read:

Be Happy

The hands-on makes the great point that joy attracts women.I would include that delight attracts everyone, but that tho holds true.

Be happier certainly :).

Hide your Player Status

W. Anton recommends you perform not brag around being a womanizer or wanting to enjoy many women.There is nothing one-of-a-kind for the mrs being one in many and also it method you are no much longer selective.

They could still be attractive to you, yet it will certainly harder for them trust you. And also if you cannot make them comfortable and come throughout as trustworthy, girlfriend won’t walk far.

The point, he says, is that females want males that various other women room interested in. But not men who space interested in every women.

That’s fairly genius there and deserves a quote:

Women want men all ladies want; not males who want all women.

Communicate Directly

A large tenet the “The Manual: What females Want” is direct communication.

And in the dichotomy “cold technique VS society circle“, Anton prefers cold approach.

He claims you should always:

Go right for the mrs you choose (make a beeline)Do not talk and make friends v her friendsTell she you uncovered her attractiveTell her you desire to see her again since you find her attractive

Also read:

How to technique a Girl: 9 Science-Based Steps

Women interact indirectly

However, women interact the opposite way: indirectly.So you must look for the definition behind her words. For example “my feet hurt” way she wants to sit down. Or if you room at home, you deserve to interpret it together a environment-friendly light because that a foot massage.


Real Life Applications

There are fairly a couple of applications come real-life indigenous The Manual.But the one I preferred the most is this:

Attempt yet Don’t lose InterestIt’s ok to effort to lug a woman home early, but don’t shed interest if her attempt fails.I discover that after ~ a mrs initial refusal I lose a lot of interest and also that hasn’t offered me too well. I will heed this suggestion whenever that fits the situation.


Poor evolution PsychologyThere is some comprised evolutionary psychology the the author pitches for facts.For true facts, pick one of these:

Some Bro-Science common of Low-Level Manopshere BlogsThe Manual has actually some that the stereotypical, an unfavorable manosphere traits.Such as:

It starts through the bro-science of evolution psychologySome anger towards women (it states that most feminists are lesbians, and while I could not favor feminists, there are more heterosexual feminists 보다 gay ones)Says that money doesn’t issue (money won’t ache you for sure)

(…) the bulk of the public is composed of unattractive people who would rather not hear that they space unfit for survive or in ~ the mercy of genes.

Indeed, by simple mathematical properties, it’s true that most men are average. However, i am not particularly fond of just how the writer describes it.

He climate goes top top mocking “clueless researchers” for sitting top top labs donning white coats while studying women. Again, he is social-climbing on others to look at better.Honestly, the author could have done a better service come the reader if he had actually actually read some science prior to talking around science (something nobody required him come talk about it and he could have simply based his publication on his personal experience).

Some negative Dating AdviceIn mine opinion The Manual has actually quite some poor dating advice.Including:

Invade an individual space

The author recommends that if you desire to talk to a woman in a group, you must walk right to her in spite of whatever is happening in the group.He says:

By law this, he totally invades the an individual space of the group, interrupts the conversation (..) demonstrating his confidence loud and clear.

That’s not confident, it’s socially inept, and it also demonstrates a major lack of society intelligence.And when it deserve to be attractive in part instances, social intelligence is a very prized top quality by numerous women -especially high quality women-.

Approach from the front and also never indigenous the side

Instead, research shows that women choose being approached indigenous the side.Anton also says that it’s ideal if a woman has actually not looked at you prior to your approach. Terribly wrong. Read how to approach a woman for the complete science of approaching.

Style is extremely overrated

Really?In my experience instead it’s extremely underrated. 

Walk through her if she’s in a hurry

There are cases where you deserve to follow a mrs wherever she’s going. However, much more times than no you hazard looking prefer a follower, a social burden, and also a man with tiny to do.

Make your an initial meeting as long as possible

I disagree. You’re far better off finishing yourself instead of letting that sputter and having she eject.

Try come kiss on a very first date

Anton says that you should kiss a woman prior to you sleep with her.Of the last 20-30 ladies I have been with, i think I just kissed the minority of them prior to having sex.And because Anton seems so right into “being alpha”, Alpha masculine Strategies, who markets his layout as the alpha-male prototype, states that “alpha males don’t kiss”.

Less an excellent Life AdviceThe writer seems to indicate that all guys chase “imaginary require for status”, an excellent career and achievement for women. He says that once men learn instead how women think and how dating works, climate they won’t treatment anymore for your jobs.It seems favor the author is saying men they need to not have their own desires or mission in life, and also should no strive to enhance their lot. However a ma that is no striving to relocate forward in life is at high risk of ending up being a low-quality man. Even if he successful with women, if he only chases women, that’s an ext like a lower quality fuckboy.

Men who go areas don’t (only) do it for women. Some males are driven and hungry for success in all areas of life, sometimes independently of women.

And finally, there are some males who never ever had troubles getting girls, and also that’s why castle are cost-free to also focus ~ above other areas of life.


Some good GemsW. Anton had much more than a couple of awesome jewel here. Part I currently mentioned. A couple more are:

People express to nations as female therefore that men are happier come sacrifice themselves because that themExpressions that helplessness space attractive in ladies as it highlights vulnerability (feminine) and youthfulness (reproductive value)

It’s additionally a helpful read for too nice guys, and also there are number of funny lines.


The manual is definitely an amazing read.

It will certainly teach a lot to pure beginners and also too nice males putting females on a pedestal.But also much more experienced deserve to come out of it through a pair of an excellent new ideas.I did have actually a pair of unanticipated “aha moments” and I am really glad I check out The Manual.

However, I additionally had numerous “this doesn’t make any sense” moments.And numerous “this is not true” and “this is counterproductive” moments.

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Overall, mixed with the an excellent bits there is as well much comprised bro-science and also some bad advice. And also I don’t feel I can recommend the The hands-on to all audiences.